Thursday, December 1, 2011

"That's not what I meant!"

    We all at some time in our lives have felt misunderstood. Whether by a family member or a co-worker, the personal frustration and the actual monetary cost of communication breakdowns can be exponential. Before you chalk up the next miscommunication mishap to the blame of the other guy, take a time out to reflect on our own communication methods. While you may be right, you still may not be heard. Which is another way of equating you to being wrong.  You may feel justified and emboldened about an idea, but that doesn't mean your communication will transfer that passion and conviction to those around you. Quite the contrary, our own passion can actually heighten a situation to the point that it undermines the facts that you want to communicate. The person on the other end of your "conviction" just goes into survival mode and builds up a self-preservation wall.  The facts get lost in translation make the situation worse at best.

    The vantage point of everyone involved can be a killer to the efficiency an intended point if it isn't taken into account. So before you stomp off from another discussion gone wild, do some self-reflection in regards to the intent and motivation behind your communication. Does that other person understand your intent? Do you appreciate theirs? By asking yourself to assess the landscape first, you will be better prepared to glean some beneficial dialogue instead of putting another brick in the personal grudge wall.  In an interview with Inc. magazine, U.S. Army General Stanley McChrystal was asked to outline his own communication strategies that have served him so well in crisis. The principles he shares are simple and just as applicable to the grand theater of war as they are to the family dinner table. As intent is understood, organizations, teams, and families can then operate with a mission-driven independent efficiency since they understand the grand idea.



Win Today!

Victor