Want in one hand and work in the other...

Life from the top of the brain - Dr. Crawford

There are those moments for everyone when frustration about the current circumstances gets the best of us. It's those moments when our reality is far from our expectations, and we begin to re-consider whether or not it's worth the pursuit. The pain of moments like this only discombobulate us all the more when we compare ourselves to other personal and professional peers; as if the context of both situations are somehow the same. Whether or not you are currently encountering one of these moments, let's be reminded that the feeling that comes along during times of doubt is in actuality your future knocking.

For some, this stuck in the mud feeling can be the edge of depression, and for others it can be anger. But for us all, it is a crucible moment to decide if we will wade deeper into achieving our worthy goals, or if we will defer them to never. My father reminded me recently about a saying that helped him lean into the reality of the here and now when times became harder than he'd like; which is "Want in one hand, and work in the other...then look and see which one begins to fill up first."

Our want is the intrinsic motivation that compels us to create and move. Yet, like any good intrinsic motivator, our want is rooted in emotion. Emotion is always the spark that ignites the fire, but if not managed properly with productive action, that same spark could be the culprit that burns down the house. Emotional intelligence research tells us that our emotions can work against us when situations appear over-whelming.  Instead of inspiring us to productive activities, our Limbic System may compel us into a closed loop of anxiety since our situational sense of coherence feels lost (See image above).

If you find yourself stuck in a moment, remember that just like when you check your location on a map in a mall directory, action is the next step once you've discovered the dot that states YOU ARE HERE.  Re-assess your situation and then begin to incrementally move forward with intentional and practical productivity.

Now I know that moving forward is easier said than done, because in those times of frustrated want, moving forward can feel like your pushing a boulder up a hill.  When you come upon this juncture, it matters most to just manage the moment instead of trying to hit the home run. A suggestion for moving forward is to try prescribing yourself one of the following seven essential mental activities. In doing so, you'll have a better shot at re-igniting the work compliment to your want.

  The seven essential mental activities: 

• Focus Time. When we closely focus on tasks in a goal-oriented way, taking on challenges that make deep connections in the brain. 
• Play Time. When we allow ourselves to be spontaneous or creative, playfully enjoying novel experiences, which helps make new connections in the brain. 
• Connecting Time. When we connect with other people, ideally in person, richly activating the brain's social circuitry. 
• Physical Time. When we move our bodies, aerobically if possible, which strengthens the brain in many ways. 
• Time In. When we quietly reflect internally, focusing on sensations, images, feelings and thoughts, helping to better integrate the brain. 
• Down Time. When we are non-focused, without any specific goal, and let our mind wander or simply relax, which helps our brain recharge. 
• Sleep Time. When we give the brain the rest it needs to consolidate learning and recover from the experiences of the day.  

Seven Essential Mental Activities by Dr. David Rock, executive director of the NeuroLeadership Institute and Dr. Daniel Siegel, executive director of the Mindsight Institute and clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine.(2011)