Never again...And this time I mean it!

    Looking back on our lives we can see moments where we wished we had acted differently.   Prior to those occurrences we had the best of intentions, and perhaps even boasted of how we were going to respond to a situation the next time it came up. The cost of such impulsive behavior can range from a dent in a relationship due to another flippant slip of the tongue, or to a car crash in life due to the loss of momentary intellect and impulsive instinct took over.  Perhaps we have grown from those instances if we have taken the intentional preparations for the next happen chance. Or, like most, we just think we will act differently the next time since we didn't like the pain of the previous experience. Until then, we will keep living in our self-serving kingdom of perceived reality, because as the pain diminishes, and a new normal arises, we soon revert to our old selves. Unless you are one of the rare flawless in life, we can tend to over-estimate the reactive selves that we are when it comes to future fore-casted events.  

Over-estimating our future reactions to envisioned scenarios has been titled by researchers as the Illusion of Courage or the Restraint Bias. Simply put, these two observations find that people have over-inflated self-perceptions in regards to how they will react when put in the arenas of life happening now.  If asked about how they will respond to an anxious stressor, someone may claim to be able to have the ability to successfully perform a task with certainty. However, when the reality hits, unless there has been a consistent and humble preparation for the task, more often than not the person will once again fail the test no matter how substantial the consequences will be. 

It isn't a matter of if, but when.  The next life-impacting challenge is always around the corner, therefore the question that we should ask ourselves is, "What are we doing today to prepare ourselves for the next time the challenge or opportunity arises?" Take a moment to write down the experiences that you wish you could have a do-over with. Then, envision how you would have liked the experience to have occurred. Lastly, write out some very realistic daily action items that you could have done prior to that regretful time that would have helped you perform more favorably. The reality is we cannot change the past, but we certainly do not have to be anchored to it.  Growth only occurs when the demand is above and beyond our normal routine.  Discovering the daily do-able action items can certainly help us all make progress towards the becoming the person we want to be. Flip the perspective and begin to view those previous moments of regret as keys to discovering the opportunity to achieving that potential success. The underachiever that we've been is only as influential to our present as we allow it be. 

Win Today!

Victor